as promised (since it's technically Friday) this is our first rant :]

first let me set the mood *runs and turns off the lights, then trips over something when I runs back* ... stupid cat
ANYWAY! *turns on flashlight and uses the ghost story voice* "here is a tale of 2 girls. one day they decided to watch a scary movie called Lizzie Borden because one of them had heard the stories and grew up on them and wanted to share them with her best friend. so they went to blockbuster and rented the movie. it was ok and it started out with camera angles that made the film seem like it was made by inexperienced college students, actors that were too fake, and really bad props. then it happened...


The actors suddenly got better, as did the camera angles...
the only problem?


it was during the sex part when the movie suddenly turned into a porno -.-
Seconds turned into minutes. minutes turned into more minutes...
One girl left and the other got pissed off. so they took out that movie and just watched TV."

Do you see where this is going? Seriously almost every scary movie my best friend and I watch turns into amateur porn. If we wanted porn we'd go into her step dad's stash. But seeing as how neither of us want to watch porn how about making scary movies hmmm.. i dunno.. scary?! I'm tired of trying to get a good scare only to find out that "Bloody Gore Fest" is actually "Bloody Whore Fest"! Quit trying to sell sex in the effing scary movies! That's what Romantic Comedies are for! And even then keep it to a minimum! No one wants to see a girl get a lap rocket in her oyster ditch! (reference Bloodhound Gang's "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" for the joke)

Sleepover and scary movies go hand in hand. It gives my bestie and me something to mull over before we fall asleep. We'd rather not have the mood ruined by some director trying to break into the porn biz via the supposedly scary movie she and I are trying to watch! Because when we are huddled under our blankets with the lights out and a bowl of popcorn between us, we'd rather not have her step dad get the wrong idea when he walks in and sees two teens going at it and trying to defend ourselves with the poor evidence of a scary movie.

make the movie
put it in the right genre
thank you

love,
the Magic Spork